Mary Sues of Middle Earth
by Artemis6
Summary: Mary Sue's invade Middle Earth. Aragorn goes insane. The return of Boromir. (Post ROTK)


It was a bright and beautiful day, as Legolas Greenleaf walked through his home of Mirkwood. His bright blue eyes twinkled in the sun and his hair shone like the richest gold ever mined. He looked at the parchment again in his hand. 'King Elessar, requests the presence of Legolas Greenleaf, high Prince of Mirkwood, to appear at Minas Tirith. Please come immediately.'  
  
He wondered at this, for it did not give any reason to why he was required at his friends home, also the parchment said he needed to come immediately. Maybe something was wrong? But needless to say he was happy to see his friends again.  
  
He walked on for sometime, silently, taking in all the richness of the forest. Finally he came to the border and bid farewell to his home. The trees seemed to sing at his departure. He smiled, and walked on.  
  
*****  
  
It had been 5 days since he had left his home and was making his way to Minas Tirith. He was going along at a fast pace, but apparently not as fast enough for King Elessar. Away in the distance he could see a rider, clad in black and silver. He knew that it must have been a servant of Gondor. The rider was moving swiftly. Then Legolas noticed something odd. He had another horse with him. But no rider it bore on its back. Legolas wondered at the meaning of this. He soon found out. The rider came up to him in a huff.  
  
"Are you Master Legolas Greenleaf? Or do you know where his presences might be found?"  
  
"I am Legolas. But come friend, you seem to have ridden very far and very fast. Is something ill with the King?"  
  
"Well, Master Legolas, once you get to Minas Tirith you shall soon find out. He bid me to come bring you this horse so that you might hasten your journey." He looked at the horse that had ridden with them. No saddle adorned save only a bit and bridle. It was grey and magnificent, almost as magnificent as that of Gandalf's steed, Shadowfax.  
  
Legolas came up to the horse and ran his fingers down the horses face. He seemed eager to bare him. "I need no bit or bridal, friend." And with that he took it off the horse and handed it to the servant of Gondor.  
  
"I must depart now, Master Legolas, for I have other errands to run. Hasten to Minas Tirith, and do not tarry." The man looked weary but was high of heart. His long brown hair blew in the wind underneath his helm.  
  
"I thank you friend, but first a name, for if we meet again I should like to thank you once more." Legolas said looking at him, and with that he mounted onto the grey stallion.  
  
"I am Tylas, and the beast that bears you is Argose."  
  
"I thank you, Tylas, friend." And with that Legolas spoke words into the horse's ear that Tylas could not hear, and sped off at a great speed to Minas Tirith.  
  
He rode hard and far that day and soon came to a small forest. He let Argose rest a while, for he was weary. He ate a small meal and then proceeded to walk through the forest leading the horse with words. He was read to mount again and be off when all of a sudden he heard a cry from a nearby clearing. It was the sound of a woman that sounded in trouble. He readied his bow and ran toward the sound of the voice. His heart sank when he saw the situation. 'Not another one!' He thought.  
  
There was a young girl, no more then 18 years of age. She had brown straight hair and here eyes were grey. Surrounding her were 3 orcs. Not big orcs, but they were still none the less dangerous. She held a huge stick of wood and was trying to fight them off. They just laughed. Then one lunged at her and was going to stab her with his long jagged knife, when all of a sudden there was an arrow sticking out of his neck. He fell. The other two looked around and before they could comprehend what was going on, they were on the ground dead.  
  
Legolas put his bow down and relaxed. The girl stared at him with big teary eyes. She looked him up and down and then smiled. "Oh thank you! Thank you!" She ran towards him and just looked at him like a little lost puppy who had just found its master. Legolas sighed.  
  
"Are you all right?" He said.  
  
"Yes! I am now! Thank you Legolas! Thank you so much. You saved my life!" She said. He didn't wonder how she knew his name. They all knew his name. Everyone knew his name, and now he couldn't get a moments rest.  
  
"What is your name?" He said almost afraid to ask.  
  
"Suzie." She said. "I'm Suzie Jenkins. I come from-"  
  
"Earth." Legolas said cutting her off. She looked surprised at him. "Yes I know. You come from earth. I could tell by your jeans and tank top, and believe me you are not the first one I've seen dressed like this. Now, let me guess you're on your way to Minas Tirith, because that his the way I am going. Am I right?" He just stared at her.  
  
"Yes! You are right!" She cried and then all of a sudden she wrapped her arms around him and gave him a big hug. He flinched trying to get himself out of her grip.  
  
"Come on." He said dryly, "you can ride behind me on Argose." She beamed at him and then followed him like a magnet. He mounted on Argose, and she looked at him in awe. He just looked straight ahead. 'Why do they always look at me like that?' He wondered. He held out his hand and pulled her up and they were off.  
  
They rode for some hours and then he had to let her off for a pee break. He waited and waited. 'If they are going to come to Middle Earth then they should come prepared.' He thought. Then he started to count in his head. 'Three... Two.... One....' There was a scream a little far off. 'Bingo.' He thought again. He ran toward the scream and then came to a clearing. He saw this time 5 orcs with big clubs. Suzie was surrounded again. 'I thought we got all these guys after we destroyed the Ring. They just keep popping up everywhere. How many can there be? And where the hell do they all come from?' Legolas thought, as he fired off some more arrows and the felled the attacking orcs.  
  
Suzie just beamed at him again. Then she looked to her right and saw another figure lying on the ground. Blood was stained on her stomach and she was unconscious. Suzie ran over to her and cradled her neck. "Legolas, she needs help."  
  
'Oh fuck! Not another one!' Legolas thought. Obviously the earth way of speaking was starting to rub off on him. He walked over and bent down. 'At least she looks like she's from Middle Earth.' He looked at her wound and then looked at Suzie. "She'll be ok. We just need to get her to Minas Tirith." He scooped her up and Suzie followed behind him. They mounted Argose again and the horse was afraid to stop, for fear of picking up another passenger. Off they went.  
  
*********  
  
After a few days of riding they arrived at the gates of the White City. He looked at the splendour of it, and knew Gimli and his folk had done a splendid job at fixing it up. He came up to the gate and the guards halted him.  
  
"I am Legolas Greenleaf, Prince of Mirkwood. The King Elessar had bid me to come here."  
  
"Gondor welcomes you, Legolas Prince." The guard said, "You are welcome to move free within the walls." But then he looked past Legolas' shoulder and saw 20 girls of different age and stature. Some were clad in warrior garb, other in strange outfits that he had not seen before.  
  
"What of these guests you bring with you?" The guard asked. Legolas sighed, rolled his eyes and said, "They're with me." He passed through the gate leading Argose, who now bore 4 girls who seemed to be wounded or had fallen into a mysterious sleep.  
  
"A message has been sent up to the king announcing your arrival." The guard said after him.  
  
"Thank you." Legolas replied.  
  
They all walked up the streets and some of the girls from earth were talking away about stuff Legolas didn't even want to talk about or know about. They finally came to the last gate. Behind there the King dwelled. He could see the white tower rise up to great height above him. More servants came up to him.  
  
"Legolas Prince, we bid you welcome to the realm of Gondor and to our fair city. The King awaits you in his hall." Legolas thanked him and then was about to say something about all the girls when the guards just took the wounded and the others and led them away. 'Thank God! They were giving me a headache.' Legolas was escorted into a white and fair courtyard. The white tree was in full bloom and was more magnificent then ever. He did not have time to gaze at it, his friend needed him.  
  
He was shown into the hall, and it was decorated beautifully. Legolas walked towards the end. There on a great chair, a man, clad in beautiful mail and robes was slumped against the armrest. His fingers were up on his head and rubbing his temples. It was King Elessar, Aragorn, to Legolas, but that did not matter now. One of the guards came up to the king and was about to announce Legolas' presents when he said,  
  
"Legolas! Thank the stars you came! I was worried you would never get here!" Aragorn said with a note of relief in his voice.  
  
"Yes I have come like you have asked, King. But what is the matter? What is so urgent that you required my presence?" Legolas said. Aragorn just looked at him. He looked tired and annoyed. All he said was, "How many came?"  
  
"What?" Legolas said puzzled. Was his friend feeling ok? What was wrong? Aragorn repeated the question.  
  
"How many came, Legolas?" He said, in fear of his own question.  
  
"My friend, I do not fully understand the question." But as he said this it dawned on him.  
  
"How many? How many of those girls came with you?" He said raising his voice unintentionally. He got up and looked at his friend with a pleading look.  
  
"Twenty." Legolas said flatly.  
  
"Shit! Twenty!?" Aragorn just looked at him. By the sound of his speech, Legolas could tell something was up. He looked at him.  
  
"Aragorn, are you ill?" He said concerned.  
  
"No not in body, but in spirit." He said wearily. He hung his head and turned from Legolas. "They are everywhere, Legolas. I tell you it is a conspiracy. Something must be done." As he said this a girl crept out from the shadows. She held a black flat box. Legolas had seen these before; they were some type of earth device to write things with. She sat herself down and began to type very fast and kept looking up at Legolas and Aragorn. On her T-shirt Legolas noticed it said 'Slash Goddess'. His heart sank.  
  
"Legolas... These girls are just... Just insane! One after the other comes. I haven't had a moment's peace! They either are goddesses, from a different world, wounded, in love with me, you or someone else, or they're the tenth member of the Fellowship!" He slumped down in his chair again and put his hand on his forehead. Legolas just stared at him in pity, but he too was getting annoyed with all these girls. He heard the clacking on the keys from the girl in the corner get faster and faster. 'God only knows what she is writing.' He sighed and looked to Aragorn again.  
  
"What are we going to do? How many are there within the walls of Minas Tirith now?"  
  
"I haven't counted, but there are well over 200." Something in his voice told Legolas that he was afraid to count them all. "Fuck!" Aragorn muttered, "Who knew being king would be so hard?"  
  
"At least you get to die." Said Legolas, He wasn't kidding.  
  
"Maybe if we just took them on a trip to Mordor and just leave them there?" Aragorn said with a little laugh and a hopeful smile.  
  
"No, somehow they would all find their way back, and then there would be hell to pay." He said. Aragorn's smile faded. Suddenly there was a small gasp from the girl in the corner. Legolas and Aragorn turned to look at her. She was all flushed and beads of sweat started to drip down her face.  
  
"I bet I can guess what part she is on." Legolas said. Aragorn had had enough and he just yelled at her, "Oh why don't you use your vibrator and get it over with, will you!?" She looked at him dumbfounded but then gave a grin, got up and left the hall.  
  
"Well, you told her! Now we need a plan to get these nut bags off our case. Can you show me the full extent of the damage?" Legolas asked Aragorn. He nodded and got up from his seat.  
  
"Where is Arwen?" Aragorn didn't say anything. "What is it?"  
  
"I have no clue. They always leave her out! So I have no idea where she is! It's always me or them, or me or you, or-"  
  
"Don't worry friend, she'll be back." Legolas said. Aragorn put his thumb and index finger on the bridge of his nose. "I haven't been laid in months!" He said with a small sob. "I'm human too you know! I need things! And without her it's kind of hard. Not impossible, but hard." Legolas just put his hand on his shoulder. Then he noted three other girls entering the room. 'They always think that they can sneak up on me! Doesn't anyone read the books or see the movie and pay attention?' He glanced back at them and they all held some sort of writing device. On each of their shirts said a different thing; Slasher, Legolas + Aragorn, and Slash Angel. 'Why don't they just fuck themselves and get it over with?' Legolas thought.  
  
Aragorn led him out of the hall and down past the white tree. They were on their way to the houses of healing. As they were walking the guards and people in the street bowed and hailed their King. They arrived at the front doors of the Houses of Healing, and Legolas could hear the hustle and bustle within. The healers in side were all rushing around at a great pace.  
  
"Oh, King Elessar, It is a great honour to have you here!" One of the healers said rushing towards them.  
  
"How do you hold, Hamirwyn?" The king asked.  
  
"As well as can be expected, but your majesty, more and more come to us everyday, Some have been here for weeks. We cannot heal them. It is a mystery to us. We are running out of room."  
  
"How many under this roof now?" Legolas asked.  
  
"46 save the 14 healers that dwell here." Hamirwyn said.  
  
"Why can't you heal them? Is something gravely the matter?"  
  
"Legolas," Aragorn said taking him aside, "do you not know? They want me! Or you, to heal them, and if not us, then someone else."  
  
"Well why don't you heal them then?" Legolas asked puzzled.  
  
"Are you kidding? And have more of them run around the place." He looked out the window on the other side of the room. A mob of 60 or more girls were outside, all trying to peer in. He could hear yelling and squeals of excitement from them. Legolas sighed. He looked at the beds with all the young girls in them.  
  
"We have them all separated them, milord." Hamirwyn interrupted them. "We got sword and arrow wounds down here. Poison on the next floor and on the top floor mysterious sleep or sickness." Legolas looked at the nearest girl, and walked over to her.  
  
"Aragorn, we cannot just leave them like this. I know that it is hard but we must think of something so we can get these girls all out of here." He looked at the girl again and bent down. He put his hand on her forehead. Slowly she opened her eyes and looked up at him dreamily.  
  
"Legolas..." She whispered then sitting up she wrapped her arms around his neck and put her lips to his. Legolas looked around wildly and then with a swift jerk broke the embrace.  
  
"What the hell do you think your doing?" He said backing away.  
  
"You healed me, my Prince. You are my hero. You are my love!" She said with dreamy eyes and voice.  
  
"Well good for you. But I am neither your love nor hero. All I did was touch your forehead! How the hell do you fall in love with someone by just touching their forehead?" He turned to Aragorn. Aragorn just gave him a small shrug.  
  
"Goddammit lets just get out of here!" Legolas said annoyed, and he turned to go out the door. He froze in his footsteps. Aragorn looked past him.  
  
"Gah!" He jumped backwards startled. There was Boromir standing in the doorway.  
  
"How?" Legolas whispered.  
  
"Hullo Legolas, Aragorn." Boromir nodded. "The guards told me I might find you here!" He came towards them to give them a welcome. Neither moved they were both looking at the three huge arrows sticking out of his torso.  
  
"B-Boromir! You're a ghost!" Aragorn said amazed.  
  
"No, no, friend." Boromir chuckled. "I am very much alive. See?" He turned around, almost hitting Hamirwyn with one of the protruding arrows.  
  
"But those arrows, how can you walk? Or breathe?" Legolas said amazed.  
  
"Oh don't be silly, Legolas! It is only a flesh wound!"  
  
"What about that whole, 'my captain, my brother, my king' spiel?" Aragorn said.  
  
"Oh that! Yeah that was just for dramatic effect. It seemed good at the time, but now that I think about it, it seems a bit corny."  
  
"But you died, Boromir! We sent you down the falls in the boat. I even checked your pulse. You were deader then wood!" Aragorn said again.  
  
"Well it was an exhausting trip, you know. It's not easy to get away from the Uruk-hai. I was tired, I must have fallen asleep."  
  
"Well fuck me!" Legolas said under his breath. He moved towards Boromir and touched one of the huge arrows sticking out of him, then backed away.  
  
"Answer me another question, friend." Legolas said. "What took you so long to haul your ass back here!?"  
  
"Ah, I knew you were going to come to that!" Boromir said with a smile. "You see I found this new sport. It is quite fun actually. After you sent me down the falls on that little boat I realized that it was quite a bit of fun! So I tried it again and again. You really should get into it, great for a party!"  
  
They just stared at him like he was insane. Some of the girls now peeked in from behind Boromir. They gawked at him and wondered what was going on. Some of the slash writers whipped out a new pad of paper or changed a new file on their computer. Obviously this story was gonna be good.  
  
"Aragorn?"  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"Can I have my kingdom back? I heard daddy went a bit insane and burnt himself to a crisp. So-"  
  
Aragorn just looked at him. Legolas jabbed him in his ribs and hissed, "No you cannot give it up! You made a commitment and you must stick to it!"  
  
"Bugger." Aragorn muttered. "I'm afraid not Boromir. I'm the ruler now, but if when I go on holiday you will be the first I will think of to take my stead."  
  
"Oh well, it was worth a try." Boromir said with a smile. "I guess I missed all the action. Can't say I am disappointed. Nasty thing fighting orcs. Gets me all dirty. Anyone hungry?"  
  
"Yes I suppose we could get a bite." Aragorn said. He went out the door within the mob of girls. They all tugged at his cloak and were talking to him at once. The slash writers looked at him all flushed and sweaty. One of them said, "Aragorn, could you-" but something inside him snapped. He looked at Legolas and walked briskly up to him. Putting his hands on his cheeks he put his lips to his. He pulled him closer and deepened the kiss, then violently broke it.  
  
Everyone was silent and just stared at them. Legolas looked flustered and fell back a few steps. Needless to say he was not expecting that. Boromir just stared.  
  
"There! You happy?" Aragorn said at all the slashers. They just looked at him and then grinned and went back greedily working on their stories. Aragorn made his way up the path. Legolas and Boromir followed. Legolas could hear some of the girls crying and asking what the hell that kiss was all about. He knew they would be analyzing it for a long time. He didn't care. Anything to get hem off his back.  
  
They were back in the hall and a beautiful meal had been laid out for the king and his guests. Boromir kept knocking over his goblet with the arrow in his left peck. Aragorn got quite annoyed at this and sent for a servant to get some sand paper. As the dinner was going on two servants busily filed down the arrows so that there were just nubs sticking out of him.  
  
"Are you sure you cannot get someone to take a look at that for you, Boromir?" Legolas asked.  
  
"No. It's all right. Like I said before, only a flesh wound."  
  
"Ah." Legolas said half believing him.  
  
They were all set to finish their dinner when a guard came up to the king and whispered something in his ear. "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! FUCK!" Aragorn yelled and banged his fists down on the table. He drew his sword. "I don't care anymore! The next one I see, I will kill!" He proceeded toward the door but the guard stopped him.  
  
"My King! My King! It is not who you think of! They are not four girls but four hobbits!"  
  
"Hobbits?" He looked at Boromir and Legolas sheepishly. "Well yes, I knew that." He re-sheathed his sword and straitened up. "Well show them in." He motioned to the guard.  
  
The guard went out the door and then lead the four hobbits in. Frodo, Pippin, Merry and Sam all stood before the king. They smiled but looked weary.  
  
"Well this is indeed a surprise!" Aragorn said brightly. The all bowed and addressed him properly.  
  
"Hello friends! It has been awhile!" Boromir said appearing behind Aragorn. They all gawked at him. Sam fainted. Frodo looked over Sam to make sure he was ok.  
  
"What? How? When?" Pippin stammered.  
  
"All in due time, my friends. But what is important is that I am alive!" Boromir said smiling. The hobbits looked to Aragorn. "It's true." he said.  
  
"Well this is better than what we expected by coming here." Merry said. Legolas got up from his chair and walked over to the four hobbits. "Why did you come here?" He asked.  
  
"Hullo, Legolas," Pippin said "to tell you the truth we aren't quite sure why we are here. I think the author of this likes us so much that she couldn't leave us out. But we're here now, and that's all that matters!"  
  
They walked back to the table and Aragorn offered their companions some supper. They were discussing the events of what had happened to Boromir. Sam kept looking straight at Boromir's face, because if he looked down he would keep passing out. The hobbits were also telling them of their strange accounts with these odd girls desperately trying to protect them or claiming that they were the 10th member of the Fellowship. Merry and Pippin got so annoyed with them, that Merry, 'accidentally' poked one of them in the butt with his sword.  
  
Frodo and Legolas were discussing the whereabouts of Gimli. "He's probably stuck under a rock in a cave somewhere." Legolas said. "I just got too sick and tired of looking down at him constantly. My neck started to hurt!"  
  
"What about Gandalf?" Sam asked them all.  
  
"He was the smart one." Aragorn said. "He knew what was going to happen so he high tailed it out of here to the Undying Lands. Lucky bastard."  
  
They finished up their supper and then had a smoke. Aragorn had almost forgotten about the Mary Sue's when all of a sudden there was a huge crash and a flash of light. A tall, dark, leggy, woman stood there in black. She glared at them all.  
  
"King Elessar," she said in a deep smooth voice. "I have come to take back- "  
  
"Lemme guess," he interrupted, "you're the long lost dark daughter of Sauron, and have come to take back Middle Earth, plague it with evil once again, and destroy all the work that I have worked my ass off for."  
  
"B-but-" she stammered.  
  
"Ooh, ooh! Or you are the daughter or niece or whatever of Saruman and want to get revenge on his destruction. Am I right?"  
  
"Well..."  
  
"Good. Now that we have got that all sorted out, you can just leave now." Aragorn said with a wave of his hand. "Buh bye."  
  
She looked at him and scowled. Turning around she huffed out the door and went down the street. As she passed out the door a few girls snuck in and hid behind the pillars of the hall. Legolas could hear them giggling and was tempted to get one of his arrows and just scare them off.  
  
After they had finished their smoke the hobbits were lead to their guest quarters along with Legolas and Boromir. Aragorn just went up to bed. He thought that by some miracle all of them would be gone tomorrow. He was wrong.  
  
Days passed and still they kept coming. It got worse. More and more proclaimed to be the 10th member of the Fellowship, or a warrior that needed their help, or that they were from earth and wanted to help destroy the Ring. Legolas had to keep pointing out that the Ring had already been destroyed; they didn't even seem to notice, being too entranced by his good looks.  
  
Aragorn was getting more and more frustrated by the day. He kept snapping at everyone and then locked himself in his room refusing to come out. Pippin said that he would give him a cookie if he did. He came out after 5 minutes.  
  
Arwen's absents was also starting to wear on him. Sometimes he could be heard muttering, "I just want to get laid. I'm not a criminal." One night everyone thought that Arwen did return, but next morning Boromir walked past the kings chambers and Legolas was coming out of it. He was walking funny for the rest of the week.  
  
"He was the closest to Arwen I could find." Aragorn shrugged when Boromir asked him about this.  
  
Several more months passed and still they kept coming. The stress was starting to show on all of them. They had tried the plan to lead them all out into Mordor and just leave them there. Of course the moment they returned they were either already there or right behind them. Legolas had suggested that they take them out to sea on a boat and then late a night they sneak away. Aragorn wanted to sink the boat, but Boromir reminded him that there could be a nasty lawsuit. So they just went for the first part. When they got back all Pippin said was, "Who knew they could all sail boats?" Aragorn sunk to his knees and started to sob. Legolas thought he heard him uttered the word 'mommy'.  
  
One day Boromir and Legolas found Aragorn addressing all of the girls. "What will it take to get all you all out of here!? Get the fuck out of my kingdom!" All they did was giggle or just ignore him. It was getting to be too much.  
  
That night Legolas was able to sleep in peace, and alone. He woke to the sun shining through the window and birds singing in the air. He wanted to puke. He went down for a bite of breakfast. He came to a most unexpected situation.  
  
Aragorn sat smiling eating his meal and the hobbits were cheerfully chatting away. Boromir was smoking on his pipe. Legolas wondered what was going on.  
  
"What has happened?"  
  
"They're gone!" Aragorn simply said and his smile broadened.  
  
"What? But how? There must have been over 800 here last time I checked." Legolas said surprised.  
  
"Who cares? The point is they are gone!" Aragorn laughed.  
  
"But I don't get it. What would make them all leave?"  
  
"I think I know," Frodo said, "Simple. It's Star Wars."  
  
"Star Wars?" Legolas said puzzled.  
  
"Yeah it opened a few days ago." Merry added. "Some new guy in it is supposed to be really hot and well it is Star Wars."  
  
"True. But this is good news! Finally we can get some rest." Legolas said taking a sip of wine. Aragorn just grinned.  
  
They stayed together in the walls of Minas Tirith for a few weeks. Aragorn was returning to his old self and running the kingdom properly. Boromir was now Steward. All was coming back into place where it should be, and Arwen had even returned. Aragorn was very happy about this.  
  
*********  
  
Legolas was walking back to his home of Mirkwood, taking in all the sights and sounds around him. All was peaceful and nothing had bugged him. None of those girls were to be found. This he was very glad for. He came to the forest of Fangorn. He was going along a path when someone caught his sharp, keen eyes. He could not tell whether it was male or female, for it was still miles off. As he drew nearer his heart began to sink. It was a girl. She was in baggy blue jeans and had a black t-shirt on with something on it. Her red curly hair was tied back behind her head in a loose bun. A black pair of glasses fitted onto the bridge of her nose.  
  
He knew that she was from earth. Legolas had no doubts about that. He thought that he would turn and then cut off the path and sneak past her. It was too late. She had spotted him.  
  
"Just great. Just fucking great." He muttered. He screwed up all his courage and proceeded to walk towards her. She looked scared and frightened. Legolas wondered who he had to save her from now.  
  
"Excuse me?" She asked in a light but frightened voice.  
  
"Yes. What do you want?" Legolas said.  
  
"Well I was just wondering if you could help me."  
  
"Ok, who is after you? Or what?" Legolas said knowing the drill.  
  
"Uh, well no one." She said.  
  
"Okay then who are you supposed to be? The 10th member?"  
  
"What? 10th member of what?"  
  
"You know the Fellowship. I must tell you though you are a bit too late. The Ring has already been destroyed." He was getting annoyed now.  
  
"Well you see I don't know what you are talking about. I just wanted to know if you knew where ancient Greece is."  
  
"Ancient Greece?" Legolas asked puzzled.  
  
"Yeah. I was looking for Xena Warrior Princess, but I think I took a wrong turn at Star Wars."  
  
"So you're not looking for Middle Earth." Legolas asked.  
  
"No."  
  
"Or Aragorn. Or me?"  
  
"No. Can you help me or not?" A smile spread across Legolas' face and he started to laugh. She looked at him oddly.  
  
"Oh thank you thank you thank you!" Legolas was saying to no one in particular. The girl just started at him like he was out of his mind. Suddenly he bent and kissed her on the lips and just kept muttering 'thank you'. The girl still just stared at him only this time she was shaken from that unexpected kiss from a stranger.  
  
Legolas then stared to run down the path, his heart leaping for joy. He didn't care about anyone or anything at the moment. He was just so full of relief that he didn't have to be with one of those Mary Sue's again. He walked along until sunset and he was still full of joy. Then his heart skipped a beat and a lump formed in his throat.  
  
The Two Towers was coming out in December and The Return of the King the year after.  
  
After getting over the shock he chuckled. He wondered when Aragorn would realize this.  
  
~*fin*~ 


End file.
